Somewhere in the depths of my grandmother’s attic, The Golden Book Encyclopedia has been hiding from the spotlight. Thankfully, I’m here to eradicate that injustice. With your acquired knowledge of Part 1, here’s the second half of highlights from the most off-colour excuse for literature that I have ever come across:
The Ambiguous, Vague, Possibly Propagandist Statement
From America – “The two English-speaking countries, the United States and Canada, are very friendly with each other. They are friendly with all the Latin American countries too.”
“Compared with the United States, Canada is poor in petroleum.”
From Cavemen - “They had good brains – at least we can guess that they had from the size and shape of their skull.”
“In many parts of the world Christmas day might be a hot summer day, and Christmas dinner might be a picnic on the beach.”
“Long ago, so long ago that no one knows when it was, people began to dance to express some of their feelings.”
“In America the whole family often works together and plays together. A family going on a picnic is a common sight. Probably never in the past have families had so much fun together as they have today.”
From Immigration – “The United States does not allow anyone to come in who shows signs that he will not able to learn American ways.”
“Some of the private companies that own forest lands are taking good care of them. They are cutting trees from them carefully.”
From Houseboats – “Some people live their whole lives on boats without ever seeing much of the world.”
“Nowhere in the world are there animals that are more fun to watch than a family of river otters.”
“Turtledoves are famous for their billing and cooing. They might well be called turtle pigeons instead.”
“No one is sure exactly what makes people get sleepy. Perhaps getting sleepy comes from the waste materials that are formed in our bodies when we are working and playing.”
“No one enjoys the snowstorms we call blizzards.”
The Out-of-date Statement
“Today many boys and girls have bikes. Not many grown people do.”
“Canada is the third-largest country.”
“Montreal is Canada’s biggest city.”
“Our newest form of communication is television.”
“It is fun to imagine getting away from the earth and taking a trip far out into space. Before anyone really can, however some kind of space ship must be invented that will go fast enough to escape the earth’s gravity.”
“How hard a day of school would be without a lead pencil!”
From Moon – “There is now much talk of going there by rocket.”
“Many of the Negroes in Africa live in colonies belonging to countries of Europe.”
“The Empire State Building is the tallest skyscraper in the world. One wonders whether any taller skyscraper will ever be built.”
The Breaking-of-the-fourth-wall
“Telling the whole story of bridges and their part in the history of the world would take many more pages than there are in this book.”
The Awesomely Accurate
“Americans eat more candy than any other people in the world.”
“The dodo is now remembered chiefly for its stupidity.”